It has take almost a lifetime but I have finally learned to protect my space, my energy and not tolerate being abused, taken for granted or mistreated by people in my life. When someone finally gets to this place of self-love, they begin to have to make some very difficult decisions and it's damn hard.
The wonderful thing is that when you approach this difficult crossroads in life and keep moving along your new path, often others who are on the same journey show up along your way. This is no coincidence. These people may have also had to make difficult decisions about a relationship with a parent, a spouse, a coworker or a friend that also kept them on the hamster wheel of emotional chaos which brought sadness or pain into their life and it was time to move on.
Yesterday I was called horrible names by one of these people that I have chosen not to allow in my life the same way anymore. I've tried very hard to keep things neutral with this person because I have to continue to work with them... but the verbal and emotional abuse just never ends... and they seem to do whatever they can to hurt me or find things that I hold dear to attack to try to cause me pain. The thing is that THEY are the one who is in pain, not me. And it makes them feel better about themselves to attack the things that I hold most dear like being a mother, my work with Little Acorn Learning and the type of person they know I am.
After the first group of horrible names, one last comment was "If all your Waldorf people really knew you.." …
Hmmm. Well.. I think you do know me and I think I keep it very real... but just in case...for today's Truthful Tuesday, my sweet "Waldorf people" ... I'm making sure it is VERY clear to you who I am:
I am a mother of four daughters and I have placed them at the center of my world from the moment they entered it and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.
I have cared for other people's children for most of my adult life and treat each and every one of them with kindness, love and patience as I would my own.
I am a woman who is good, kind and gentle and loves children and animals and strives to make a difference in this world with the work that I do.
I am strong and fierce and I won't take your bullshit if you bring it. So be sure you are ready if you do. Don't underestimate my kindness for weakness.
I am an amazing partner and friend and cherish my relationships when I am cared for and treated with love, honesty, kept promises and respect in return.
I am a writer, an artist, a free spirit and a very spiritual person.
I am imperfect.
And in response to the Waldorf reference:
Yes, my children have watched tv, played video games and done many non-"Waldorf" things. I've always admitted that...they use computers and listen to music. When it becomes out of balance, we adjust things and always strive to do better. All things in moderation with teenagers. Here are two of my girls helping each other with homework and laughing and joking together last night:
But, my children also have explored every inch of my backyards, attended my nature clubs, learned to knit, crochet, paint, create, gone on adventures, hikes, cuddled with me, made up silly songs, cooked with me, cried with me and most importantly, my dear haters... My children know they are safe to be themselves with me, share with me and talk to me because I ALWAYS give them my time, my energy and truly listen without judgment, guilt or yelling. While I am very imperfect, I am also very invested... and I've given this parenting thing my absolute all.
Here are some photos of that:
You see.. I am enough. I feel really good about the parent I've been and continue to be. I wish for you the same along with good intentions in all you do. And, following a philosophy or ideal does not mean we are not human or flawless. That's not what it is about... and that's why you are so lost right now and lashing out at others. It is not a competition or a checkoff list. Living an authentic and good life is a process, something you keep striving toward and keep doing.
Intention is what matters. And, I have really good ones. Please check yours.
It's very uncomfortable to know that there are a handful of people that follow me and Little Acorn Learning, not because it is enriching their life or they support the work that I'm doing but because they are angry or jealous or trying to find information about my family's life... It has almost caused me to stop blogging and to stop writing because it is just so creepy but I refuse to let anybody take away my joy and my passion and something that brings other people happiness as well.
Oh and I'd love to see their laundry rooms! At least I'm brave enough to be "real".
So, for all of you that sometimes feel like you're not good enough or "Waldorf enough" or authentic or true or whatever enough it may be.. this Truthful Tuesday is for you.
You are enough. I see you.
Keep striving and I will too.
See you over on my Instagram Story today where you can go on a short virtual hike along with me.