The Gift of A Simple Holiday this Year

    

    Watching our child’s eyes light up with excitement during the holiday season is one of the many joys of parenthood. With our love, each year, many of us go to the ends of the earth, wait in long lines for hours, and spend more than our budget permits in an attempt to create a magical experience for our children. 

    More often than not, we return from our shopping trip overwhelmed and over budget. And when the holiday arrives, we are understandably disappointed to see our carefully found treasures thrown into a pile of accumulated things while our children move on to open the next package.

    Not long ago, the holiday season was a simple time of family traditions, gratitude, and gift-giving from the heart. The magic and beauty of the season did not come from how much one could receive but from how much one could give. 

    Decorating was beautiful and modest with candles and branches of evergreens draping the doorway. Family and friends would gather together, bringing along homemade treats and small gifts of appreciation.

    Most gifts were made by hand and simple. Mothers would knit sweaters for their children and fathers would search local shops for the perfect gift.  Children would receive much less but appreciate much more.  A new set of blocks, a special doll, or a set of books would be cherished for years to come.

    Toys were natural and open-ended, leaving room for hours of imagination and free play. They did not blink, flash, need batteries, or keep children indoors for most of their day.

    How, in a world that is much different now, do we recapture the truth and surround our children with warmth, simplicity, and peace this holiday season?

 The Benefit of Natural Toys

    Toys of today are much different than the basic and sturdy toys of our past. Some of the components that are added to products made with PVC plastics have been linked to cancer and other serious ailments. “Certain plastics are known to contain toxic chemicals which have negative impacts on human health. Children are particularly vulnerable to these toxic chemicals since their body systems and organs are still developing. Their bodies are small, so what may be a small dose for an adult may be a big dose with big effects for a child. Young children are also at greater risk since they often insert plastic objects into their mouths. Baby bottles, sippy cups, teething rings, and toys are often made with phthalates and Bisphenol A (BPA). (see "Eco Healthy Childcare" In Plastics & Plastic Toys by UC Davis Health https://health.ucdavis.edu/)

    With the very safety of our children’s playthings in question, many parents are choosing to buy natural toys and products for their children. But safety is not the only benefit of items made from natural materials such as wood, cotton, silk, or wool.

    Children, like sponges, absorb their environment and the world around them. The quality and essence of the things that we surround our children with can have a direct effect on their behavior, health, and ability to learn. Holding something beautiful that is made from the earth has tremendous positive psychological effects on human beings. 

    In fact, natural materials teach children correctly about the world around them. When a child picks up a rock that is made of plastic, it feels light and weightless. In nature, rocks are heavy and solid.

    Toys that do not require batteries invite open-ended play. This type of play sparks children’s creativity and requires them to finish the story on their own. Many electronic toys have a predetermined ending, leaving little room for imagination causing the child to lose interest quickly.

    More often than not, loud toys over-stimulate young children.  Blinking lights, loud sounds, and so much stimuli muffles the child’s ability to hear his or her imagination speak. We must quiet the noise in order to allow our children to listen to the true magic that is within.

    Equally important is the fact that natural toys are better for the environment. Plastic can sit in landfills for hundreds of years and is not biodegradable. 

    If you have a skill such as sewing, knitting, or woodworking, consider making your child something special this year. Not only does this send a message of love, but it also teaches patience. The time spent on creating something from hand is a wonderful way to show your children the benefit of working toward a goal.

Quality over Quantity

    Let us keep in mind that it is not only the quality of the gifts we give this year but also the quantity. How much is really enough?

    Before holiday shopping, take a good look around your home. How loved are your child’s belongings? Gifts lose their value when children are surrounded by so many things. It is unfair of us to expect a child to cherish a new toy when they are surrounded by so many of them.

    When deciding to purchase an item for your child, be selective and ask yourself the following questions: What purpose will the toy have? Does your child already have this type of item? Does it engage all five senses and encourage imagination? It is much better to offer fewer, higher quality toys that your child will get more use out of than an abundance of toys that will go unappreciated. 

    This is a wonderful opportunity for parents to teach children the lesson of giving this holiday season. This year, many children around the world won’t even have a holiday meal, let alone presents. Talk to your child about this and then spend a day sorting through items that are no longer cherished or age-appropriate to donate to others. If the charity only accepts new toys, considering selling your items and donating the money earned to a worthy cause.

Simplify and Reduce Stress

    Much as young children take in the aesthetics of their environment, they also absorb the feelings and emotions of their caregivers. We must be mindful of the message we are sending to them during the holidays and throughout the year. Here are a few ideas on how to limit stress and create a more peaceful celebration for yourself and your children:

-      Create beautiful traditions with your children. String popcorn, make ornaments, or go caroling. Allow even the youngest child to assist with preparing the holiday meal, setting the table, or baking cookies. 

-      Demonstrate kindness. Send cards or gifts to a nursing home, adopt a needy family, or write letters to those who may be alone this holiday season. Children can add so much to the lives of others who have so little. 

-      Consider shopping online for many of your gifts this year. It is not only a safer option this year but it is also a wonderful way to save gas and reduce your stress by avoiding busy stores and shopping malls. 

Above all, let us remember that true happiness cannot be wrapped and placed under a tree. When we teach our children this, we have already given them the greatest gift.

Eileen is a work-at-home mother and the owner of Little Acorn Learning http://www.littleacornlearning.com 

She writes and publishes homeschool curriculum inspired by the Waldorf philosophy of education and sells wooden toys, knitting and crochet supplies, natural art supplies, and holisitc books for parents and children. Be sure to sign up for the Little Acorn Learning monthly newsletter on the website full of free lessons, crafts, ideas, recipes, and more or visit the much loved Little Acorn Learning blog.

When Good Parenting Hurts

I know I’m not the only one guilty of over-parenting at times. Watching our children struggle hurts. There is a natural inclination for us to want to help them.

For example, your child cannot do the monkey bars. She is so sad that her older sisters can do it and she cannot. So, each time you go to the playground, you help her across the bars by holding her body. “There you go, you did it!” you say.  She did? 

As parents, we need to know when to sit with the discomfort of watching our child struggle long enough to allow them the chance to succeed. What if all of those times that you went to the playground your daughter struggled, fell, got up and tried again?  

What if you used your hands instead to wipe away her tears and told her to keep practicing? She would eventually get it. Your heart may ache during the process but, this time it would truly be her success to celebrate. She would know that she is capable.

These are the moments we need to give our children back.  Success does not often come along with instant gratification. It comes with hard work and learning how to pick ourselves up after we fall down a few times.

How will our children ever learn how to pick themselves up if we never let them fall in the first place? 

But how do we know when to help or when to wait?

My youngest child suffered from such separation anxiety during the first month of Kindergarten that she actually became physically ill and would shake the night before a day of school. I tried everything to help ease her into the transition and feel comfortable and safe but nothing worked.  

After weeks of trying, I finally said “enough is enough” and decided to pull her out of school and let her detox for a few months. It was affecting her health and emotional well-being. She wouldn't eat worrying about school the next day. She wouldn't sleep. At only four years old, she was the youngest in her class.

I worried I was being over-protective. Well intentioned friends, family and staff at the school told me to just drop her off and let her cry. They said it would get better. But after weeks of trying it didn't. I worried that she'd never go back to school if I took her out..but the truth was that she needed me to honor where she was during that time in her life. She was not ready. She needed slower introductions to social situations without me helping. She needed time. 

And, in this case, it was the best gift I could have given her. 

After keeping her home for a few months, we sent her to a Waldorf Kindergarten and then held her back a year so she once again started traditional kindergarten the following year. 

It was like magic. Honoring where she was and allowing her time to grow enabled her to absolutely LOVE her kindergarten experience. That little girl is now twelve years old, in middle school, has sleepovers, a lot of friends and doesn't want her Mommy to tag along. This is something back then that I could have never imagined for her. Or me. 

But in other cases, I became aware of "rescue parenting" tactics that were creeping in and hindering my children’s ability to learn how to problem solve and grow into self-sufficient and independent human beings. 

For example, one of my daughters struggled more with fine motor skills growing up. I would watch her fumble and take 20 minutes to tie her shoe laces while her younger sister zipped through the task in 3 minutes. My heart would ache for her. 

When she did tie her shoes the knots were often loose and would come undone again. As a result, I found myself helping her or finishing up so she would somehow feel better about herself that her shoes got tied correctly. I wanted to protect her self-esteem. I didn't want her to trip! My intentions were good.

What I found, however, was the opposite. She eventually shared with me that she felt horrible that I always had to help her. She didn’t mind the time it was taking her to tie her own shoes. It was on her time and as long as she was given a little extra time to get ready (and not expected to do it at the same time as everyone else), she was happy. She was being patient with herself and the process and I was unsatisfied. I was afraid she couldn't do it. What message was I sending her? 

I promised myself that no matter how much she struggled, I was going to let her do it herself. Even if it meant waking her up a bit earlier in the mornings so time was not an issue. Even if it meant the laces became untied and she had to do it again and again.

It was hard and it sure as hell was not instant gratification. It took what seemed like forever. 

BUT, I’m proud to say she now ties her shoes VERY and is a teenager! No Velcro necessary. All without me… can you imagine that?

Knowing when to help and when to wait is a hard balance for us as parents. I believe, however, that if (like me) you work on becoming mindful about pausing before you help and make it a priority – you will soon begin to recognize when you are helicopter parenting and when you are truly helping your child in a beneficial way.

And yes, I’m talking to you (and me again, as a reminder to myself):

Mom with the middle school child who could easily learn to make his or her own lunch but you are afraid they won’t include all of the necessary food groups. 

Or you, Mom whose daughter desperately wants to learn to do her own hair but you do not like the way it comes out when she does it so you do it yourself rather than letting her learn by trial and error (and go to school looking like that). 

Or you, Dad whose teenager keeps oversleeping so you help them out the door by packing up their bag, grabbing their lunch out of the fridge or a million other things that you do each morning to make sure they make their bus on time. 

What would happen if they missed the bus, along with first period and had to stay in for detention that day?  Maybe they will be less likely to press ‘snooze’ the next morning? 

What natural consequences can we allow our children to endure so they can learn from life firsthand? 

How many times have you zipped up your child’s coat out of love rather than letting them struggle a bit to learn how to manage it themselves? 

Or cut up your older child’s meat rather than allowing them to learn how to properly use a knife?

Or called the parents of the neighbor’s child who just made your son cry without giving him the chance to go work it out first?

I've done it TONS of times! And still do. As a matter of fact, I just made my middle schooler's lunch last night. Again! 

Often, in our effort to help our children, we are actually stealing away their independence.  We are telling them (without words) that they are incapable, dependent and they can’t do it themselves.  

“Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.”  ~Robert A. Heinlein

Life and learning is not always easy. Let’s not always feel like we need to make it so for our children. 

My new goal is to make sure whatever I’m doing is helping my child to feel loved, self-sufficient, strong and capable. I want them to have the tools to grow into confident and independent adults that are not afraid to meet a challenge, struggle or yes, even to fall flat on their ass once in a while.

So the next time you go to open up that snack for your child – STOP! Give your child the chance to try to learn how to do it for himself. 

“You want a snack? Great, go make a healthy one.”

“You got an undeserved C- on your school paper? That’s horrible! Be sure to work that out with your teacher in the morning and let me know what the plan is.”

“Your friend has been unkind to you? That must have been really hurtful. I hope you can work it out. You have been good friends for so long. You will know in your heart how to find the right words or the decision to make.”

When to step-in and do something immediately:

-       Your child is being bullied.
-       Your child’s health is in danger.
-       Your child’s safety is at risk.
-       Your child needs advice or more ideas to figure out how to handle things on his or her own (but let him think it through himself first!).
-       Your child seems depressed.
-       Your child has really given it his all but truly needs more help from you.
-       Your child has physical or mental disabilities that require more assistance.
- Your child just isn't ready to do what you need them to do.

Otherwise, back-off moms and dads and go enjoy a well-deserved moment or two of peace. 

Feel free to share this article to help others just please keep the bio below in-tact: 

Eileen Foley is a work-at-home mother to four daughters. She writes and publishes Waldorf inspired ebooks and facilitates ecourses for parents, teachers and caregivers at Little Acorn Learning. For over 10 years, Eileen applied her love of nature-based learning in her work as owner and lead teacher at Little Acorn Playgarden in Connecticut. She worked at the Housatonic Valley Waldorf School as their Lead Afterschool Kindergarten Teacher and ran the Morning Glories Program for Parents and Toddlers. Eileen also has worked as the Student Service Director for the Lifeways Northeast Training Programs for Early Childhood Providers. Visit her blog, Little Acorn Blog, or her Facebook Page  or follow Little Acorn Learning on Instagram for more great ideas and activities.

A Visit from The Candy Fairy

When my children were little they were often more excited about the Candy Fairy then they were about trick or treating on Halloween night. Every Halloween night each girl left out a big bowl of candy for The Candy Fairy. Amazingly, she just so happened to always fly down our road after they went to bed... and, in appreciation she left some treasures in return.
The girls were always convinced that the more candy they left the better the surprise would be in the morning. Sometimes it was a fairy type of treasure like you see in these pictures and as they got a bit older it would often be a special toy, doll, art supplies or Lego set.

And, don't worry ... I wasn't a mean mom... each girl kept enough candy to enjoy a piece or two when they wanted a treat that week - just not a pillowcase full.

By the way, I heard the fairy visits houses any time after Halloween so you may want to see if she's heading to your neighborhood soon.

xoxo
eileen

Natural Gift Giving for the Holidays

This is a repost of an article I wrote back in 2007 that has been published in various print magazines and online publications. The three little girls in the photo below are now 17, 14 and 12 but the message still stands true! You are free to share it, just please keep the byline with author information in-tact or link directly here. xoxo

Natural Gift Giving for the Holidays

Watching our child’s eyes light up with excitement during the holiday season is one of the many joys of parenthood. With our love, each year, many of us go to the ends of the earth, wait in long lines for hours and spend more than our budget permits in an attempt to create a magical experience for our children.

More often than not, we return from our shopping trip overwhelmed and over budget. And when the holiday arrives, we are understandably disappointed to see our carefully found treasures thrown into a pile of accumulated things while our children move on to open the next package.

Not long ago, the holiday season was a simple time of family traditions, gratitude, and gift-giving from the heart. The magic and beauty of the season did not come from how much one could receive but from how much one could give.

Decorating was beautiful and modest with candles and branches of evergreens draping the doorway. Family and friends would gather together, bringing along homemade treats and small gifts of appreciation.

Most gifts were made by hand and simple. Mothers would knit sweaters for their children and fathers would search local shops for the perfect gift. Children would receive much less but appreciate much more. A new set of blocks, a special doll, or a set of books would be cherished for years to come.

Toys were natural and open-ended, leaving room for hours of imagination and free play. They did not blink, flash, need batteries, or keep children indoors for most of their day.

How, in a world that is much different now, do we recapture the truth and surround our children with warmth, simplicity, and peace this holiday season?

The Benefit of Natural Toys

Toys of today are much different than the basic and sturdy toys of our past. In addition to the more recent concerns of lead paint on some foreign-made toys, some of the components that are added to products made with PVC plastics have been linked to cancer and other serious ailments. “A recent Greenpeace study revealed that PVC softeners known as phthalates have been found to cause liver and kidney damage and disrupt hormonal systems in children (see "Teething Toxins," In Brief, March/April 1998). In response, several European nations have banned PVC toys altogether. U.S. toy distributors are still debating the issue.”

With the very safety of our children’s playthings in question, many parents are choosing to buy natural toys and products for children this year. But safety is not the only benefit of items made from natural materials such as wood, cotton, silk, or wool.

Children, like sponges, absorb their environment and the world around them. The quality and essence of the things that we surround our children with can have a direct effect on their behavior, health, and ability to learn. Holding something beautiful that is made from the earth has tremendous positive psychological effects on human beings.

In fact, natural materials teach children correctly about the world around them. When a child picks up a rock that is made of plastic, it feels light and weightless. In nature, rocks are heavy and solid.

Toys that do not require batteries invite open-ended play. This type of play sparks children’s creativity and requires them to finish the story on their own. Many electronic toys have a predetermined ending – leaving little room for imagination causing the child to lose interest quickly.

More often than not, loud toys over-stimulate young children. Blinking lights, loud sounds, and so much going on muffles the child’s ability to hear his or her imagination speak. We must quiet the noise in order to allow our children to listen to the true magic that is within.

Equally important is the fact that natural toys are better for the environment. Plastic can sit in landfills for hundreds of years and is not biodegradable.

If you have a skill such as sewing, knitting, or woodworking, consider making your child something special this year. Not only does this send a message of love, but it also teaches patience. The time spent on creating something from hand is a wonderful way to show your children the benefit of working toward a goal.

If you are not particularly crafty, there are plenty of retailers that sell natural toys online. Before purchasing, be sure to ask the retailer where the toys are manufactured and what materials are used during production.

Quality over Quantity

Let us keep in mind that it is not only the quality of the gifts we give this year but also the quantity. How much is really enough?

Before holiday shopping, take a good look around your home. How loved are your child’s belongings? Gifts lose their value when children are surrounded by so many things. It is unfair of us to expect a child to cherish a new toy when they are surrounded by so many of them.

When deciding to purchase an item for your child, be selective and ask yourself the following questions: What purpose will the toy have? Does your child already have this type of item? Does it engage all five senses and encourage imagination? It is much better to offer fewer, higher quality toys that your child will get more use out of than an abundance of toys that will go unappreciated.

This is a wonderful opportunity for parents to teach children the lesson of giving this holiday season. This year, many children around the world won’t even have a holiday meal, let alone presents. Talk to your child about this and then spend a day sorting through items that are no longer cherished or age-appropriate to donate to others. If the charity only accepts new toys, considering selling your items and donating the money earned to a worthy cause.

Simplify and Reduce Stress

Much as young children take in the aesthetics of their environment, they also absorb the feelings and emotions of their caregivers. We must be mindful of the message we are sending to them during the holidays and throughout the year. Here are a few ideas on how to limit stress and create a more peaceful celebration for yourself and your children: 

~ Try to limit the number of commitments you make. When possible, combine functions to avoid excessive travel or entertaining. Consider scheduling some events for after the holidays so you can relax and truly enjoy the company of your family and friends. 

~Create beautiful traditions with your children. String popcorn, make ornaments, or go caroling. Allow even the youngest child to assist with preparing the holiday meal, setting the table, or baking cookies.

~Demonstrate kindness. Visit a nursing home, adopt a needy family, or write letters to those who may be alone this holiday season. Children can add so much to the lives of others who have so little.

~Consider shopping online for many of your gifts this year. This is a wonderful way to save gas and reduce your stress by avoiding busy stores and shopping malls.

Above all, let us remember that true happiness cannot be wrapped and placed under a tree. When we teach our children this, we have already given them the greatest gift.

Eileen is a former Waldorf Early Childhood teacher, work at home mother and the owner and publisher of Little Acorn Learning. The Little Acorn Learning guides have captured the hearts of caregivers and children all over the world. Based on seasonal themes and festivals, Little Acorn Learning inspires a love of nature and the home arts while supporting the caregiver's soul. Be sure to join the mailing list to receive special offers, FREE lessons, verses, songs, recipes and much more each month right in your inbox. And please follow Little Acorn Learning on Facebook and Instagram to continue to be inspired in your work with children. 

Show Me Your Slow...

Today is the last day to submit your photos in our Slow Summer Facebook Photo Contest!  Show us your slow, unhurried and carefree summer photos of you and your children enjoying childhood as it should be.  

Send no more than 3 photos to info (at) littleacornlearning.com to enter to win a FREE ebook of your choice! Photos should show us what a "slow summer" means to you and your family! Hashtag the photos you post on Instagram and Facebook with #slowsummerseries to inspire others to slow down and do the same.

Free Range Summer : Slow Summer Series

As I sit here to write this, I have just returned from a fun evening on our boat with the girls.  This year we bought a tube for them to enjoy.  The tube is fun.  I enjoy it myself.  But, it can go fast.  I can’t deny that each time one of my daughters gets on that tube, my insides curl up just a tiny bit, especially when it is my youngest daughter’s turn.

And, of course, as soon as they sit inside of it they already start sending my husband the “thumbs up” to go faster and faster and faster.  All the while, I’m telling him to go slower and slower and slower *OR* biting my lip in order to let them enjoy a little “Free Range” excitement. 

I don’t claim to be an expert on the things that I write about.  If I am very honest, I struggle with most of these things just as much as I am sure you do….

But, somewhere inside of me, I know that in order to grow at all as a human being we have to allow ourselves to be a little bit uncomfortable.

I also truly believe we need to learn to trust our instincts more as parents so this can get complicated and it becomes a VERY careful balancing act. 

It takes bravery to be a parent and let go enough to allow your children to have a childhood full of fun, risks, experiences, challenges and accomplishments.  It takes guts to bite your lip a little while your insides curl up and figure out when to say “enough” and when to let the uncomfortableness set in enough to let go just a little bit more. 

And we are all different. 

Truth be told, I was not a Free Range Kid like many of my peers and I’m sure, many of you were.  My family was VERY cautious of my whereabouts when I was young and living in New York, near the Bronx, there were plenty of real things to worry about to try to protect me from.  All concerns about my safety were filled with pure love.

Yet, I can’t help but feel I did miss out.   

I remember friends near my apartment being allowed to ride their bikes down to the local park.  It was within a mile or two and they went in groups.  One day, I was asked to go for the first time.  I was SO excited. 

Calling up to my apartment window, my friend asked me if I could ride down, play a game on the field and get an ice cream from the ice cream truck before coming back home. 

This was a regular summer day for him.  But for me, this proposal seemed like the most wonderful opportunity of my lifetime!  I begged and pleaded with my mother but it was NOT going to happen.  I remember being so upset that I secretly broke my piggy bank into pieces and gave my friend the money to get me an ice cream to bring back anyway. 

Somehow he did manage to make it back alive with my melted ice cream in hand.  The ice cream was good but the ride to the park seemed, in my eyes, to be much sweeter… and I would have traded them in a blink.

As a matter of fact, Tony made it back alive at least 20 times that summer and each and every summer after that. 

Could he have gotten abducted, hit by a car or injured?  Yes of course.


But, the truth is, that there was MORE of a chance that I’d get into a car accident with my family on a “safe” ride to my grandmother’s house the next morning or any of the workday mornings that year or years after.

But I didn’t. 

Some may argue that “times have changed”.  That somehow, back then, streets were safer – crime was lower and bad things didn’t happen as much as they do now. 

But the research and facts tell us otherwise.

Why, then, are we so afraid? 

I’m not sure. 

I assume it must have something to do with our access to news, social media and crime stories.  What would happen if the news was 75% positive?  Would our perception change? 

I think it would.

What I am trying to say is that it is not easy to be a Free Range Parent - not now and probably not back then either.

It takes courage.  Things can happen… things will happen:  scraped knees, broken bones and neighborhood drama. 

But, other things can happen too: tree climbing, neighborhood games, confidence building, learning one’s own boundaries, practicing balance, learning from mistakes, fresh air, sunshine, building forts, navigating disagreements and so much more.

My middle school daughter opened my eyes, once again, to this very concept.  She said “Mom, I know you love us but you should try not to always ask for the best teachers for us each year.” 

I knew where she was going with this… and, often, I do write a letter or meet with the Principal to ask for a “good fit” for my children with regard to placement.  I feel it will help their educational experience if they are in an environment that nourishes who they are.  And, it will…

But maybe… maybe there needs to be more balance and “letting go” on my end too.

She continues, “I know having one of my hardest teachers, Mr. X, really made that class difficult for me last year… but because of that, I learned how to deal with people who are not always easy.  And I got through it and did well.”

She did more than well.  She did excellent.  And the world is filled with people who are not always easy.

We absolutely need to be our children’s advocates…. But we do not need to create a perfect and safe childhood for them covered in helmets, bumper pads, plastic wrap and rainbows.  We need to find a way to let them learn the hard lessons in life yet lead them the right way when they may be going astray.  We need to know when certain things are age appropriate for them to try and when we should protect a bit more. 

We need balance. 

If we make life so easy for them that they do not struggle, they will not be able to cope as adults. 

A few winters ago, one of my best friends and I decided to give our children the gift of more freedom.  She lives under a mile away… well maybe it is a bit more than a mile, but it’s in walking distance from our home. 

While I am often very annoyed by how fast people drive in my neighborhood, the truth is that we live on pretty safe residential roads.  There really is no reason that, in a group, our children should not be ok walking to one another’s homes.   

But our streets are not filled with children at all.

So, once a week or so we took turns sending our children, with sleds in hand (and I will admit, a cell phone “just in case”), to each other’s homes to sleigh ride. 

This seems like such a simple thing that so many adults now did daily in their youth… but living in this day and age we felt like REBELS.  Not many of our friends would have allowed the same.  Even living in suburban CT, most moms we know would worry too much to let their children walk that far and be out of sight for half the day in the freezing cold. 

Guess what?  Each and every time they came back ok.  More than OK.  They came back filled with stories and cold fingers, asking for hot cocoa by the fire as they relived the exciting moments they spent discovering and flying down hills on their sleds together.  They talked about ways that they helped and protected one another down the “steep slopes” and how they looked out for their little sisters and brothers. 

They came back with memories and they came back with the confidence knowing that they are more than capable of being safe and responsible and trusted. 

And they came back. 

Each time.

This led to Free Range Bike Riding in the spring and summer.  Our children now enjoy meeting one another midway between our homes for a few hours of riding around the neighborhood unsupervised. 

Here are some Free Range things we have done THIS summer:

Walking barefoot through a rocky creek without watershoes or hand holding.

Riding bikes to the beach without me (I admit, this was out of my comfort zone as this is our first summer at the shore house but I did it)

Using a sharp knife to cut veggies while helping me cook.

Watching (while biting my lip) as my monkey child explored vines and trees to hang on at a local state park.

Swimming (where we really weren’t supposed to) in the waterfall among sharp rocks and edges. 

Sending my second oldest into the grocery store, without me, to get a few items while I wait in the car.  Be careful with this.  She’s 13.  Nowadays parents can get arrested if children under 12 are out and about!!!!

Letting the girls hike through the woods in our backyard without screaming “watch out for ticks – don’t walk in the tall grass” like I usually do every five minutes (we do check our bodies pretty thoroughly after though – we live in tickville!)

Saying YES when my little one wants to try swimming to the dock with her sisters for the first time at the beach. 

Were these hard for me?  Yes… many times they were.  Letting go is always hard and does not come without risk.  But, I would like to argue that it comes with more benefits than risk.  I would like to hope that my letting go will give my children the tools they need to be independent and confident adults one day who can cook a meal, drive a car, swim a few laps and explore their world without me. 

Here’s a thought:


What if we took back our streets, our playgrounds, our beaches, our parks, our schools and our world – what if we stomped out FEAR in masses, taking back our rights and our children’s rights to live in this world freely.  Imagine how safe we’d feel if there were 20 free range kids biking to the local store – not just two.  POWER IN NUMBERS BABY!

Some exceptions (or maybe the better word is confessions):

A good friend of ours sadly and tragically lost his child in an ATV accident very recently.  It was so heartbreaking and I was shattered walking out of that innocent child’s funeral.  We have ATV’s and if I am honest, they have always made me very nervous even though my husband is very safe and careful while the girls ride.

Since the funeral, I will not allow the ATV’s any more.  In my opinion, right now, the risk of injury to a young child on a motorized vehicle like that is more than I am willing to take in the name of Free Range.  Somehow letting my girls walk to the corner store seems much more reasonable.  Is my fear rational?  Maybe or maybe not.  It hit us personally and I think I’m not ready for this one yet – or maybe ever.  Although, Sandy Hook was near also and while it took everything within me, I sent my girls back to school.

After hearing about a dangerous person in your area such as a pedophile, irresponsible gun owner or drunk driver – be smart and teach your children the same.  There is no reason to be ignorant in support of giving our children a Free Range Childhood.  When we are presented with knowledge that is RATIONAL and real, we should of course be more careful.  The problem is that the news, media, Facebook, twitter and other tools we have in our life right now are making it feel to us that there is more bad than good in this world.  And I refuse to believe that.  As we know, the facts dispute that.

So, I ask you – what Free Range Summer activities have your children enjoyed?  


Please share with us here on the blog in comments or by Linking Up your blog post below.  Be sure to also use our hashtag #slowsummerseries to inspire others to slow down and give their children the gift of a slow and free summer this year.    

All in a day's work ... literally.

We finally did it!  We gathered enough sap from the four maples we tapped in our backyard to boil it into syrup.  This was a perfect activity for the first day of spring to share with the girls!  

As you can see from the first photo above, we had a decent amount of sap.  Two of the white buckets were almost full, one was about half full and the blue container had about 1/4 sap in it.  We boiled and boiled and boiled.  For the ENTIRE DAY.  Approximately 8 hours to be exact and this is what we got:

 Yep.  That's it!  All of that sap for not even a half of a jar of syrup!  But, OMG it was the most absolute delicious syrup we have ever tasted and the girls were amazed that they were able to make their own from trees in their backyard.  Fresh, unprocessed and pure.  

Of course, we had pancakes the very next morning.  Our syrup got firm in the refrigerator so I'm thinking I likely cooked it just a bit too much.  At the very end of the process, it can go from the right temp to cooking too much pretty quickly.  I think I learned this time around and hopefully will do better next time.  In either case, we were able to warm up the syrup and it was fine.  

Definitely hooked on the process!