This is one of those posts where I have so many different things to share and will struggle a bit to make it flow together ok. Our summer has been sweet and slow. We've enjoyed watching our garden grow and surprise us. Different fruits and vegetables popping up each day and some traveling on vines to grow in unintended spaces. The girls have been very good minus some sibling arguments that are to be expected.
This past week we also had two special birthdays to celebrate. My grandmother would have been 100 years old.
She's been gone since 1995 but it was one of the most heartbreaking goodbyes of my life. It is rare to find another soul that you connect with in the way that my grandmother and I did. It was so easy flowing and full of so much love and kindness. I miss her every day and crave that type of relationship in my life again. I have to admit they come few and far between, those magical connections. I wish she were able to meet my daughters and watched my life unfold.
On her birthday, Bree asked me to go buy a balloon in my grandmother's favorite color. Her favorite color was gold. I always found that to be so interesting and I remember her house decorated with gold accents as a little girl. I figured Bree wanted something to connect with so she could relate to my sadness. But, when we got home, off she went and came back with this beautiful card and a flower. She asked me if we could send it up to heaven. So we did. And, with Brianna holding my hand the entire time, we watched it for at least 30 minutes as it went higher and higher. I swear it seemed like it really was going to her and it made me happy. And I realized how blessed I am to have children in my life who are so gentle and connected to me, just the way my grandmother was.
My mother, my aunt and I named our new beach home after my grandma. This week we put the sign up.
It was also Maia's 10th birthday this week. Two days before my grandmother's. I imagine them celebrating together in my mind sometimes. In spirit, I did feel her presence as we celebrated Maia and all that she is. And Maia *is* so much....
Lastly, Keira and Maia went off to sleepaway camp for the first time this year. I felt Maia was too young but she insisted on it and knowing that her sister would be with her, I reluctantly agreed. Life is a series of letting gos and this one wasn't any easier than the others I have experienced. I remember
sending Dee off to camp for the first time too.
So, here I wait for them anxiously to come home and tell me all about their new experiences and found independence. A part of me cries inside as I watch them grow up and away and a part of me rejoices for the strong, beautiful and capable young ladies they are becoming.
And I will hold my breath until the next bittersweet moment.
xoxo
