School: The New War Zone?

Last night I was watching the evening news (which I try not to do too often and you'll see why).  Basically, there are companies now spending money to produce school supplies that can shield teachers and students from bullets in the classroom.

Really?

I'm not naive enough to believe that gun violence is not a major concern in our world today.  I live only one town over from the horrible events of the Sandy Hook tragedy.  If anything, other than Newtown itself, my family and community was hit harder than most of the people in our country after that horrible day.  I have friends whose children lost playmates.  The church where all of the funerals were held also has a school that we seriously considered sending our girls to.

It was real.

That morning of December 11th completely changed my life and the life of my family forever.  I frantically called my mother to come watch the daycare children so I could go rescue my own girls from their schools. At that point, we thought there was a shooter (or shooters) on the loose and it was VERY real that our schools could be next.

The fact that the tragedy was so close to me made it much more difficult to move on.  I once again considered homeschooling the children but this time, it wasn't for educational reasons, it was for their safety.

Eventually we let our babies back into the world.  Now each morning hug is a little tighter than the last.  I am careful of the words I choose before they get onto the bus and I work hard not to get frustrated or yell at them during busy mornings now because... what if?

But I still send them to school.

Why you ask?

Because I refuse to live my life in fear.  I refuse to teach my children to live in fear.  Because if I give in to fear, I've given up on hope.

And what about homeschooling?  Well, if I ever do decide to home educate I never want it to be fear-based and in response to a horrible event such as Sandy Hook.  I want it to be because it is the best form of education for my children at that time in our lives.  Period.  Because homeschooled or not, this is our children's world and they will all eventually enter into it together.  Let's focus on fixing it for them.

The idea that arming our children with bullet proof supplies as they get on the bus each morning to go to a place that should be filled with laughter, love and learning is just as crazy to me as arming all of our teachers and school staff with semi-automatic rifles to protect our kids.

Are we willing to allow this to happen?  Have we given up completely on our world and school has now become a war zone?

Harold Copping 1886 - The Dunce

Let's just calm down a moment and take a closer look at things.  Fear can disable us and magnify things in an unrealistic way. In addition, our modern day access to information via television, IPads, IPhones, telephone, texting, Facebook and, well, you-name-it, makes everything feel like it is much more common than it truly is. Add in the fact that we are all still very wounded by the magnitude of Sandy Hook and other recent tragic you have a recipe for panic.

According to this 2013 CDC School Violence Fact Sheet, school associated violent deaths are still rare.  "Of all youth homicides, less than 2% occur at school, and this percentage has been stable for the past
decade.".

Less than 2%?

Some more facts from this slightly older, but not outdated, Youth Gun Violence Fact Sheet:

• During the 2009/2010 school year the odds of a student (age 5-18) being the victim of a school-associated homicide was one in 2.5 million. In comparison, the odds of a 5 to 19 year old being killed in a motor vehicle accident in 2010 were 1 in 16,000. (CDC, 2012).

• Most school-associated student homicides involve a firearm and a single victim and offender (Modzeleski et al., 2008).

• In 80% of school-associated firearm-related homicides and suicides, the weapons used were obtained from the home or from a friend or relative (Reza et al., 2003).

Now, this next comment may not be popular among all of my readers but if you notice that last statement "from the home or from a friend or relative",  I have come to the following conclusions:

The answer to school gun violence is NOT making guns more accessible by arming our teachers or allowing free or easy obtained access to guns in our community. 

The answer is not to bulletproof our clothing, backpacks, whiteboards and underwear.

The answer is not to let media and our raw emotions get the best of us and REACT.

The answer is to be proactive.

The answer is to prevent and make guns less accessible to those who have no business having them.

The answer is to become more aware of our children, the people in our community and our world so that when we see someone is hurting, sick or struggling, we are able to be proactive and help them before a tragedy occurs in the first place.

Does this mean I wasn't grateful when our local schools tightened up school security, installed stronger windows and doors and implemented a strict identification process for all pick-up procedures? 

I was thrilled.  

The truth is that percentages and chances go out the window when something like this happens in your community and our community needed to have something - anything - to help us feel safer sending our children back to school.  And, I am thankful for the administration who put these things in place for us.  Our upper level schools even hired Student Resource Officers which gave many parents peace of mind.  I'm not completely against them but research is not yet showing any significant benefit in their prevention of fatalities.

There comes a time where we have to put on the brakes, take a breath and learn to trust again.  We need to make change rather than reacting and allowing the chaos to continue.  

I'd rather help be the change. 

When I began to see the parents of the Sandy Hook victims slowly living again, speaking again and even sending their other children to school again, I knew that I could do it too.

After doing some googling for this post, I came across one of my favorite websites, Free Range Kids, who amazingly posted about this very same topic.  Guess what?  The clip that she shows in her post over a YEAR ago was the same clip on the news I saw last night.

Hmmmm see that?  The media is creating fear.  Using old content for new reactions.

Will you buy into it or stand against it?  

You have a choice.

Here's a little video for those of you who may remember when we weren't afraid of every.single.freaking thing outside of our front doors:

http://vimeo.com/52231459

Breathe.  And let your kids play outside WITHOUT you today!

Some related blog posts you may find useful:

Living Without Fear in a Frightening World
Truthful Tuesday
The Truth About Waldorf School Verses Public Education
Look for the Light Posts

Feel free to share this article to help others just please keep the bio below in-tact: 

Eileen Straiton is a work-at-home mother to four daughters. She writes and publishes Waldorf inspired ebooks and facilitates ecourses for parents, teachers and caregivers at Little Acorn Learning. Eileen applies her love of nature-based learning in her work as owner and lead teacher at Little Acorn Playgarden in Brookfield, Connecticut. Visit her blog, Eileen's Place, or her Facebook page, for more great ideas and activities.

Pass the Peace

"I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go."  

Rachel Joy Scott (1981-1999)

Student, First Victim Of The Columbine High School Massacre

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is on Monday, January 21st this year.  After the tragedy in Newtown last month, I am more inspired than ever to help spread goodness and peace in our communities.   The random acts of kindness that people across the world are doing in memory of the victims lost is inspiring and something Martin Luther King Jr. would be quite proud of, I believe.  

These simple and beautiful felt flowers can be made easily with the children in your care and left behind wherever you do a good deed as a reminder to pass it on (here is an example of cleaning someone's car window after the snow before they wake up).  

As you can see, we used the colors of Sandy Hook Elementary, however; you can also use this tutorial as a way to make pretty pins and hair clips for the little girls in your life in various colors. 

Supplies Needed:

100% Wool Felt

Scissors

Needle and Thread

Pipe Cleaner (only if you want a stem)

Wool Roving

Tag with Message if you Desire

Making the flowers is very simple.  Begin by cutting out a long wavy, pointy or fringed strip out of your felt.  There is no right or wrong here.  Experiment and see what types of flowers different designs make.

Simply roll this strip into a little flower bud and put a few stitches in the back in order to keep it together. 

Next cut out two flower shapes with four petals each (or experiment with more petals!).  Make one larger than the other and layer them placing the little bud in the center.  Add a few stitches to the back of your flower to hold everything together.    

Next wind green wool roving around a pipe cleaner and clip at the correct length to create the stem and when done attach the stem to the back of your flower with a few more stitches.

Your 'Pass the Peace' flower is now done.  

Don't forget to add a tag and spread the love.  

Look for The Light: Embracing Winter

As the days grow deeper into winter, we are moving forward and embracing the bits of joy we can after such a difficult time these past two weeks.  We hosted Christmas Eve and had a really wonderful time with our family and children and when we said goodbye we were so excited to see that we were being gifted a White Christmas this year.  Which was so very needed in Connecticut.  

Wednesday brought even more snow to our neighborhood and the girls were so excited to be able to go outside and enjoy it.  It was perfect packing snow they said.  

So they rolled and they rolled...

And they came in and out asking for silly things like clementines and carrots... candy canes and scarves....  and then finally were ready to unveil their creation to me.   Meet "Peppermint" the Snowman.  :)

These are the beautiful, simple, warming moments that are grabbing hold of me so tightly these days.  These are the moments that I am savoring and breathing in deep.  That are pulling me away from silly, unimportant things like work or laundry.  That are calling me to watch and to listen.

My sweet friend and co-writer Sara from Love in the Suburbs sent us these beautiful Snowflake Angels to cheer us up after listening and supporting me in the pain I've been feeling.  It is amazing to me that I can love a friend so deeply who I have never met in person.  Her words have helped carry me and bring me back to focus when things have felt blurry.

I have been loving this time with my girls, relaxing and crafting... reading and cooking.  Santa brought us a new book Magical Window Stars from A Toy Garden and we have been making many of them.  They are bringing light and hope into our home and for that I am thankful.  

I am thinking of all of you and hoping you are managing okay... I think as parents we must do our best to bring beauty and goodness into our homes to heal our wounds as best as possible. 

With love,

Eileen

xoxo

Look for the Light: Caroling to the Homebound

After a really hard day visiting Sandy Hook, the girls and I went with other members of our church to carol to a few homebound individuals in our area.  The activity was simple and sweet but filled with so much love and joy.

It was exactly what our hearts needed.  We needed this to remember that there is still so much good work to be done in this world and it is up to us to do it and to teach our children to do the same.  It was very healing for the homebound but maybe even more so for the carolers.

I left with a new determination and mission.  To spread as much light and create as much change in this world as I possibly can while I am here.

I hope you join me and do the same.

xoxo

Overcome Evil With Good

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  Romans 12:21

My good friend and I went to Sandy Hook this morning.  We wanted to pay our respects to the victims and find some way to connect with our community during this horrible time. 

 The outpouring of love was just unbelievable.  Not only in the things you see here in pictures... but in words, strong, tight, loving hugs from strangers and a sense of knowing that everyone there needed one another.

Strangers asked us how we were doing.  One woman came straight up to us and gave us an enormous hug without saying a word.  A gesture that anywhere else would have seemed odd.  Gestures that should become commonplace.   Is there hope this event has changed us?  Can it last?

We brought stuffed animals and candles and placed them in front of the memorial.  We spent a long time in Sandy Hook this morning and walked up to the firehouse as well.  We were amazed to see that each one of our little candles were still burning strong when we returned despite the light rain and wind.  It was a sign to us.  Energy was around us that was pure love burning bright.  

When I saw these stockings I got extremely choked up.  The thought of empty Christmas stockings next week made me feel ill.

A small tree was placed and decorated for each lost soul.

I am so thankful to whoever made this sign.  It has stayed with me throughout the day and has helped me to shift my thinking some.  I have decided that this MUST be a pivotal time for our world.  There must be change immediately and I am praying each day that it will begin now.  I promise to do whatever I can to be a part of that change in my lifetime and I promise to teach my children to be changemakers and peacemakers as well. 

There was press everywhere.  My friend and I think we may have been recorded more than once.  It was a little difficult to grieve and cry privately when cameras were all around.  I can't imagine how hard this is on families.  Families who need space and silence to mourn and be with loved ones.

Rest well little angels.  And know that you will never be forgotten.  I pray that your life will be the beginning of a beautiful new world where the focus is put back on the family, people learn to live with and love one another in peace and weapons and violence become something of the past.  I pray.

Look for The Light: Small Glimmers of Light and Winner of Our Winter Festivals E-Book

Before I continue, I know I was to choose a winner from our Winter Festivals E-Book Giveaway on Saturday and I apologize that I did not.  My heart just couldn't imagine anything being won after a day like Friday.  But, I hope that this free gift will help someone bring some beauty and joy into their home as Christmas time arrives, especially after such a tragedy.

The winner of our giveaway is:  SAPsMaMa: Natural Parenting in the Modern World
:)   We truly are so happy to share some joy with you and hope you find it useful with your children!

As the day begun, it was harder for me to find the goodness and light so I am very very grateful for the messages and emails I received thanking me for this project and sharing with me little pieces of goodness to remind me of why...

One of my favorite blogs Kleas sent over this beautiful project they did as a part of Look for The Light with their  preschool children.

It is both beautiful and painful for me to see that this is being organized by our sister church Newtown Congregational as it just make it all the more real.  

Then another sweet note came in from another Little Acorn Learning community member, Kristen Thurmond.  

"This afternoon as our girls played outside, we discovered our lemons had been touched by Father Sun & were peaking out from behind the green leaves to show their beautiful yellow color.  We began to harvest them to take tomorrow to share with the other families at our Waldorf school tomorrow.  It also made me think of your request for some "light" pictures.  I hope they give you some light as we all grieve for the families & victims of Sandy Hook.  One includes my daughter, Paige."

Then my girls made paper snowflakes to adorn the new school the survivors of the Sandy Hook shooting will be using after the New Year.  It was a small gesture of hope and peace.  The people organizing are hoping to turn the school into a winter wonderland for when the children arrive.  God bless them all.  

Lastly, one of my sweet daycare parents who is helping me with this project and also runs the Greater Danbury Attachment Parenting Network posed a challenge to her members as part of Look for The Light:

Look for the Light:

I am challenging each and every one of you to do at least ONE random act of kindness this week in the name of one of the victims of this crime. If there is one thing every single family member has said...of each one...young and older...was that they were full of life and love. Let's spread the light and keep that memory going. Pass their name on for something good...the way it was meant to be ♥ 

There is a deep dark sadness lingering in my heart today.  I was not able to put my girls on the school bus this morning like I know so many other brave mothers did.  I couldn't let them go just yet.  

I know I am supposed to get back into the routine of things but I just can't.  I am afraid.  I have been horribly reminded of the danger that lurks when we let our children go out into the world.  It now has a face.  And it lived right in my backyard.  My biggest fear as a mother is to lose my child or to leave this earth before they are ready to live without me.  Last Friday shook me to my core.  I still can't breathe.  I can't begin to imagine the pain those parents are feeling... or the siblings... imagining my daughters losing one another is just so extremely painful.  They are a part of each other.  

xoxo

Eileen

Look for the Light: A Story of Goodness

I know for many it seems too early to look for the goodness after such horror.  But the only way I can survive another day with my insides turned out like this is to somehow find a way and a reason to seek hope.  This world is still a place filled with goodness and light.  I refuse to allow a monster to rob myself, my community, my children and my world of that truth. 

I've not received an inbox full of goodness yet.  But one by one, as people process and cope, they are sending us messages of beauty in the wake of such evil.  I think those angels that left us way too soon would ask us not to give up.  They would ask us to look for the light for their classmates, colleagues and to help initiate change.

Today after church my family went to a diner to eat.  In the front entrance way are once-empty menus colored by children who ate their over the last few days and weeks.  One little drawing pulled me back.  It was done a day after the shootings.  A beautiful photo of Christmas... of hope for the magic of the season and then on the bottom a request to God... to please please "bless all the children".  If that isn't a message of hope and light, I am not sure what else is.  We cannot allow this event or any event to take away the hope and joy that is within our children or ourselves.  

Another member of our Little Acorn Learning community sent us in this beautifully sweet story as a reminder that there is still goodness in our broken world:

A Story of Goodness and Light from one of our Members, Hallie: 

"We had been looking forward to this dinner for weeks but after the events of yesterday, it seemed almost wrong to enjoy it... it was a military appreciation dinner held at South Tacoma Auto. Still we went, and had a lovely time, great food and were so touched by the sincerity of the staff in their thanks to our military. There

 were give-aways (of which we were so lucky to win a new watch!) but the highlight of the evening was the actions of a man who I didn't even catch his name.... the grand prize giveaway was $1000 gift card, who was won by a nice looking older gentleman. When he went up to receive his gift, there was a bit of confusion, as we couldn't hear what he said, and then the crowd around him started clapping and standing up.... that retired military man had asked that his gift be given to someone else who was still active duty.....That was such an example to that room full of 300+ people, that even on such an ugly day in our country's history... there is still good in the world.... I know my girls didn't realize how special that moment was but I did... and I just haven't been able to kick that lump in my throat and tears of gratitude for that man, I just had to share it with all of you too... so that everyone can remember that there is so much good still in this world if only we let ourselves see it. And that we all have the power to share goodness and God's blessings... Before we left, I went up to that man and told him how special I thought that was and all he could say was something along the lines of " It's the least I could do for all they are doing"...."

So as Monday is fast approaching and my stomach is turning about sending my three children off to school without me.... I am reminded of the beautiful teachers and staff that work so hard to protect and educate our children.  I am reminded of the dedication and bravery of our Connecticut and town police forces and feel good that their presence will be at our schools this week as an extra precaution.  I will look around, even if it means straining my eyes, to find you stories of goodness to post here.  

I hope you will too.  Join us tonight at 7 p.m. to light a candle or luminary on your front porch or in a window, not only to remember those lost but as a symbol of gratitude for the goodness that still surrounds us during this time.  

Please participate and help us spread light and love around our grieving world.  Share a good story, a happy thought, an act of kindness that you have seen in the days and weeks after this horrific event with us and we will share it with the world here on our blog.  

To submit a story or share something positive for this project, email us with your contact info and story at info@littleacornlearning.com  We hope to receive so many replies that we can hardly fill this space with so much goodness.  

Here is a button for you to share this project with your friends, families, blogs, email lists, colleagues and anywhere and everywhere you can so we can remind people that this world is still filled with SO much good.  Please just link the button back to this post at http://eileensplace.blogspot.com